I recently spoke with some seminary friends about a situation in their once multigenerational congregation. They wondered what they might tell their faithful senior-laden flock about how to invite their adult children (and their grandchildren) back to church. It appears that somewhere along the years these adult children, while raised in the church and still living in the area, had quit attending and never returned. What can be said to get them to return? What can be said to the one they quoted to me who said “I don’t need a faith community. I can talk directly to the ‘Big Guy’.”
I appreciate that there are many reasons why they would want a return of families. Some likely want the family togetherness they used to share. Others are probably concerned about their grandchildren not being raised in the Christian faith and taught Christian values. Some are likely concerned about the longevity of the church, wondering who will fill various ministry roles when they are no longer able and who will take care of the place when they are gone.
We might honestly say that we have some of those same concerns. They are common to most aging congregations who say “We need families to join us.”
My question back to my friends was “Why are those attending still attending?” I image that some would say they do so because they seek relationship with God and find that in the church. I imagine that some come for the inspiration or sense of peace they get, and others to say thank you and to worship. Some may find a sense of purpose and an avenue for living out their faith in service to the church and world through their attending. All good and holy, those things. But I believe there is more.
I asked that question because I believe being active in a faith community brings many benefits but we may not be fully aware of those benefits. We may not be aware of how belonging matters and it could be that knowing those and sharing them with others can make a difference. Yes, we can “talk directly to the ‘Big Guy’” but there is so much more to be gained from doing that in community.
Did you know that people who actively participate in a faith community benefit not just spiritually but mentally and physically. Recent studies have shown that participation in a faith community promotes better health. Those active in a faith community appear better able to deal with stresses, are more optimistic, and have greater resilience. The social support given and compassion shown in faith communities appear to positively affect mental and physical well being as those who are active participants have a lessened chance of mortality. Other studies report that those who actively participate in a faith community are also happier. More resilient, better health, greater longevity, and happier.
All of these benefits and more can be part of the answer to “why are we still attending?” Yes, we gather to worship and to give thanks, to hear God’s word and to be spiritually patched up, fed with the sacrament and sent out to love and serve the Lord. These are important reasons for participating, but I am also mindful that people report a lot of stress, anxiety, loneliness, depression, and that there is a high suicide rate among our young people. It does seem to me that belonging matters, that belonging and participating can be a significant help to stressed out and unhappy parents and their children.
If you ever hear someone say “I don’t need a faith community” let them know why they might. It is not so much that we need their help, their service, their contribution, their carrying on the tradition as it is what church can do for them.
So, what would you say? Why do you belong and what would you say to others who think belonging does not matter?
Grace and peace, belonging and community, health and happiness to you,
Fr. Bill+